In the Workplace
by Rei0013
Summary: It's not all fun and games and airstrikes for the Turks. Sometimes you gotta do some paperwork... Rated T because Reno enjoys his drinking and cursing. He's sorta like Cid in that way. XD
1. The Most Annoying Man in All the Planet

_Ohai! XD, yup I've decided to start work on a bunch of random shorts about the Turks in the Shinra building, doing officey stuff. Enjoy! ~Rei_

* * *

If there was one person Elena found more irksome than any other man in all of Midgar, it was Reno. She couldn't fathom how a man that lazy and incompetent had ever made it far in the company, not to mention second in command of the Turks. She had wondered once if maybe he was sleeping with Rufus Shinra, or if maybe it was because his family was rich or something to that effect.

'All he ever does is gossip and flirt with the secretaries,' she thought to herself as she walked down a Shinra hallway, toting a large stack of papers she needed signed by the redhead. 'And drink,' she added mentally. Elena sighed. Her darling Tseng would never make such foolish displays.

"If only he'd notice me," she though aloud.

"Who'd notice ya, Laney? Me?"

Elena rolled her eyes visibly. It was him. Why did he always insist on calling her that stupid name? The way he spoke was entirely childish; how a teenager in the slums might speak if he were trying to be cool.

"In your dreams, slick," she said in an annoyed voice. "I need you to sign these, it's the damage report from your latest--"

"It's Tseng then? You got the hots for him, yo?"

Elena contemplated smacking Reno across his smirking face. She didn't want to admit it to him, that'd be like dropping a match in some puddle in Sector 7. However, she couldn't help but blush.

"Ah, so it is him. You got fine taste, yo," Reno said laughing. Elena blushed even redder. "C'mon Laney, buck it up! Ask Tsengy-poo out for a drink. He could use it too, acting like he has a broom up his--"

"No. That's quite enough from you, you stupid mongrel! Just sign the papers."

Reno laughed again and smirked at her. Oh, how Elena loathed that stupid smirk.

"Comin' from you Laney, that's almost a compliment, yo." Elena glared at him. He seemed to find that even more amusing, because he laughed. "Hey listen, Tseng's right over there. Why don't I just--?"

"No Reno, don't!" Elena said, panicked. But it was too late.

"Yo, Tseng! Elena wants to ask you something!"

Elena tried to run, but Reno caught her by the wrist.

'Damn he's strong,' she thought as she tried to tug away. There was no use. She could see Tseng approaching them and butterflies began to explode in her stomach. Damn Reno. Damn him and his stupid strong grip.

"Yes?" Tseng said in his oh-so-cool-and-proper voice. "What is it Elena?"

"I- uhhh- I was- I have to go!" Elena finally broke free from Reno and ran down a hallway, clutching the papers to her chest. 'I'll forge his signature,' she thought, gritting her teeth. 'Moron.'

"Reno was that entirely necessary?" Tseng said disapprovingly after the blond had made her exit.

"Oh come on!" Reno said. "The chick's crazy about you, yo! You two should hook up, it'd be sweet.

"It... wouldn't be proper," Tseng said, blushing slightly. He left hurriedly.

Reno laughed to himself an ran a hand through his red spiky hair.

"There's hope for those two yet," he thought, shaking his head.


	2. Attempting to Work

_lol, Reno is beyond immature at times. ~Rei_

* * *

Tseng liked his office in a specific order, very neat and tidy. He had a tray each for both incoming and out going papers, three pencils, two pens, a sharpener and an eraser. Then there was the legal pad, which he kept next to his computer. If there was one person in the company who was the opposite of all this, it was Reno. Reno's desk resembled something more like a Midgar slum than a desk, papers littered and stacked on it and it was impossible to find anything. Tseng rolled his eyes every time he saw it.

One afternoon, Tseng was busy typing a memo to the President regarding the goings on in his branch when he received an unexpected visit.

"Heya boss, whatcha up, to yo?" Reno said, leaning over the cubicle wall, one of his lanky arms just brushing Tseng's desk. Tseng looked up and glared.

"I am working, Reno, a concept I am sure you do not understand," he said, returning to his typing.

"Ooh, ouch boss. That one stung a bit. But come on, I hand in my assignments just as well as the other guy. And I have a higher mission success rate than any other Turk."

'True, but a wonder nonetheless,' Tseng thought rolling his eyes. He stopped typing momentarily.

"Do you have a reason for being here, Reno?"

"Nah, nothing really," the redhead said, picking up a pencil off his superior's desk. "Bothering Laney was starting to lose its charm, and ya know. I figured I might come to see you, yo!"

"Well, I'd appreciate it if you leave," Tseng said tersely. "And if you'd cease stealing my things," he added, snatching back the pencil and placing it back where it belonged.

"Aw, but you're so much fun! Doncha like me anymore Boss?"

"I have never liked you Reno. You are merely a imbecile I am forced to work with because for some inexplicable reason you were actually blessed with some talent."

Reno laughed. Tseng grimaced, as he found the laugh slightly grating.

"Well that's something there. Fine, I'll leave you alone if you promise to go on a date sometime. You're so boring, Tsengy. It's not good for your health, yo."

Tseng stood, now angry.

"First off, my name is not Tsengy. And secondly, my personal life is no concern of yours. Leave, now."

Reno did leave, laughing and sticking his tongue out at his boss.

'No better than a child,' Tseng though, shaking his head.


	3. Heavy

_Just so you know, this all supposedly takes place after Advent Children. Now, do not allow me to distract you further! ~Rei_

* * *

Reno was the sort of person who was extremely competent at his job, yet didn't want anyone to know it. He often took up his smirking, lazy mantle in order to disguise this fact from his colleagues, yet there was one man he couldn't possibly fool and that was Rude.

Rude was Reno's partner, his best friend, his _only_ friend. Despite the fact that he often remained silent, Rude was always there for Reno when he got himself into trouble. Which was incredibly often. The bald man knew for a fact that Reno kept a large bottle of alcohol hidden in his desk for the long nights of paperwork. Reno despised paperwork, so much so that it was often Rude who did it all for him when he was too drunk. There were some especially late nights where Reno would get so polluted he could hardly stand.

On those nights is when Rude would help his partner make his way home. Rude had given up long ago trying to count the number of times he had had to do so.

On this particular night, Reno had clocked out early, leaving his bald partner a large stack of mission reports to go through. Rude rolled his eyes. Sometimes the redhead could be such a pain.

The large man jumped slightly when his phone began to ring.

"Hello?" he answered gruffly.

"Hey, uh Rude? This is Tifa Lockheart down at Seventh Heaven." Rude's heart skipped a few beats. Tifa? Calling him? There had to be some reason for this, she couldn't _possibly _just be calling to talk to _him. "_Your, uh, partner's here. He's kind of acting funny. I think he might have had just a bit too much to drink."

'And there's the reason,' he thought, rolling his eyes. Such a pain, such a pain.

"All right," Rude said. "I'll come get him."

"You might want to hurry," Tifa said in an odd voice. "He's sort of- Reno no, don't! You have to stay here!"

Rude had heard enough. He hung up and left the office, putting the phone back into his pocket.

"Rude, where are you going?" his boss Tseng called out after him as he made his way to the elevator.

"Reno," Rude grunted as the elevator door closed.

When Rude reached Seventh Heaven, Reno was not inside, but standing outside staring at the night sky. That was one of the big differences about Edge as opposed to Midgar: you could see the sky.

"Hey, partner," Reno said. "You must hate me, huh."

Rude approached the man and noticed that tears were streaming down his face. Rude shook his head. Reno was really, _really_ drunk this time.

"I'm such a horrible person. You shouldn't have to deal with me, yo."

"Reno, just exactly how much have you had to drink?"

Reno shook his head and sat down in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Does it even matter? I'm still a loser."

Rude looked at his partner, exasperated. There was a certain line Reno passed when he was drunk when he just became a weepy mess, and it was when he was like this that he was hardest to deal with. He pulled the redhead up by his arms and began to walk him to the train station.

"Rude, you're always so nice to me, yo," Reno said as he stumbled along side his partner. "I'll never understand why." Rude rolled his eyes. Sometimes he didn't either. "I'm such an ass. I'm mean to everyone. I'm mean to Elena, I'm mean to Tseng... and look what I make you do. You should just leave me here to rot, yo."

"I wouldn't do that," Rude said as they finally reached the railcar that would take them to Reno's apartment. It wasn't far, but when Reno was like this...

"I don't see why after what I've done."

Now this concerned Rude. This was beyond what Reno normally said when he was like this. Usually he just went on about how he was an asshole.

"What have you done, Reno?"

"I dropped the plate on Sector 7."

Rude bit his lip. He hadn't realized that his partner had been carrying that burden with him all this time. He hadn't realized Reno even felt remorse about it. Reno had always appeared to have an "orders are orders" feeling about the whole ordeal, even though he had effectively killed thousands of people.

'Maybe that's the reason he drinks all the time,' Rude mused as he sat with the sobbing man in the railcar. By the time they had reached the right stop, Reno had passed out. Rude shook his head as he threw his partner over his shoulder. The redhead was heavy for a man so skinny. 'The things I do for this guy.'

Rude carried Reno up to his apartment and lay him on his couch. He thought about just leaving, but he worried that Reno might throw up and choke on his own vomit or something like that. Instead, he pulled up a chair and sat in it, closing his eyes. He could at least get some sleep if he was here.

The next morning, Rude awoke to the sound of Reno moaning in pain.

"My head," he said. "It hurts so much." Reno was covering his eyes, writhing in pain. Rude almost laughed. This was why he didn't drink. However, he rose and went to get his friend a glass of water. "Thanks," Reno said groggily as he took it from him.

"Do you remember last night?" Rude asked. Reno nodded as he took sips from the water. "You, know I think... everyone's forgiven you. They know you didn't do it because you wanted too."

Reno looked up at Rude, smiling sadly.

"Yeah, I... figured that, yo," he said. "Thanks. For everything."

Rude nodded.

"Only for you," he said.


	4. The Delight of Spinning Chairs

Reno of the Turks was a man who truly appreciated and enjoyed spinning chairs. While it was true that it could never compare to flying a helicopter, there was a certain thrill to wheeling yourself down a hallway and watching the secretaries run out of your way squealing. Who cared if it always almost certainly resulted in a lecture from Tseng? It definitely had damage reports beat, that was one thing Reno knew for sure.

The one fact Reno lamented however was his colleagues' definite lack of respect for the art of the wheelie chair.

"C'mon Rude, just let me show you man!" he pleaded of his partner one particularly dull afternoon. It had been at least a month since their last mission and the redhead was itching to do something more exciting that paperwork and annoying his coworkers. Short of stealing the helicopter and taking it out for a spin (something even Reno knew was crossing the line) the best he could come up with was racing Rude down the hall.

"I'll pass, thanks," Rude said, laughing slightly. Reno frowned as he pushed himself backwards out of their cubicle.

"Sometimes you are just no fun, yo."

However Reno did not make it out the door before colliding with something tall and blond. He turned to see who he had hit and then shot out of his chair faster than a bullet out of a gun.

"Mr. President Sir, I uh..."

Unsure of what to say, the redhead saluted. Rufus Shinra chuckled slightly as he shook his head gently.

"Out of all my employees, you certainly are the most entertaining," he said, still smirking. "I was hoping to employ your help on a mission, would you be interested?"

"Would I be interested?" Reno replied. "Do Chocobos screw in fields?" The President laughed.

"I knew I could count on you. Does the name Theadosia Grisham mean anything to you?" Reno merely gave his boss a blank look as he shook his head.

"Should it?" he asked, bewildered.

"She's the daughter of a Shinra scientist, and an experiment Shinra has a great interest in. We'd like it if you could keep an eye on her."

Reno exchanged a look with his partner.

"Yo, boss, not meaning to question your judgment or anything but didn't we do this already once? Ya know, with the whole Certa girl thing?"

"She's always at the same bar every night, so surveillance would be relatively eas--"

"Now I'm sure you've got the wrong guy Sir," Reno said backing away and holding up his palms. "I'm trying to quit drinking you see and--"

"This is an assignment Reno, not a suggestion," Rufus Shinra replied, his eyes flashing in the way that told you to cease arguing if you valued your life. Reno bit his lip. "I'll send the details of the mission to both you and Tseng. I know that you won't disappoint me."

The President left the redhead dumbfounded. He sank back into his spinning chair, slightly defeated.

"Reno, I'm sure it will turn out fine," Rude said to the back of his partner's head. Suddenly, the man turned about without warning.

"I'll race you to the copier. Come on, yo!"

Before the bald man could even open his mouth ro respond, Reno was halfway down the hall, laughing his butt off. Rude shook his head. He sure did bounce back quick.

* * *

_I deserve to be bricked. Yes, I did just tie this in to my other fanfic series concerning Reno. Shaddup. It's only a slight tie in. XD ~Rei_


	5. Mercy

Elena was watching Tseng from just outside his office, a hobby of hers. The man got so absorbed in his work, he never even noticed her standing just across the way. Elena had tried many times to categorize just what it was that she found so attractive about her superior, but she couldn't just peg one thing.

There was his hair, which Elena found to be gorgeous. So long and black and shiny, yet always neat and out of his face. Then there was the small tilak on his forehead, and his large brown eyes that Elena felt were she allowed to she might gaze into for hours. Elena also loved the way that he was so good at his job. Tseng had been a Turk for longer than almost anyone in the company, and Elena felt there was no better man to head up the Department of Administrative Research. And then there were the little things, the way he would bite his lower lip slightly as he typed, his dry sense of humor, the way he carried himself when he walked.

"You should just go get him, Laney," she heard a voice whisper in her ear suddenly. Elena jumped and then wheeled around on the redhead standing behind her.

"Don't you have something better to do Reno? Like your mission?" Reno merely stuck his tongue out at the blond woman.

"My mission is none of your concern, and just for your information it's the kind you have to after work, yo. Nah, this is a far better usage of my time."

Elena rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Do you enjoy ruining my day?" she said, truly bewildered as to his motivation to annoy her. Reno shook his head, laughing.

"Laney, I'm not ruining you day, I just want to help you, yo!" he said. "Tseng would rather die before admitting it, but I've seen the way he watches you at staff meetings. You just need to give him an opportunity to get to know you better, something that is never going to happen if you never talk to the guy!"

Elena was slightly scared by how much sense that almost made. There was no way that Reno, of all people, could give good relationship advice. But before she had a chance to respond to this, Reno was pushing her into Tseng's office.

"Reno NO! I don't want-- what are you--?"

But then Reno had run off snickering and Elena was alone in Tseng's office with the very man who made her knees go weak. She looked up at that man, who was now eying her dubiously.

"Reno... I just... I'll go now, I'm sorry, sir," she said, her skin flushing extremely red. She did not look Tseng in the eye. Just as she was turning to leave when he surprised her by replying.

"Yes, that man can be quite troublesome," he said. Elena looked up. Tseng was smiling at her. She tried to smile back but she could feel her face getting hotter and hotter. But then Tseng's brow furrowed. "Elena, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"Yes?" she said breathlessly.

"Would you- what I mean to say is might you- consider doing something outside of work with me?"

Elena felt her heart skip a beat. Okay, she'd forgive Reno this time. But only this once.

* * *

_Couldn't resist. I love them as a couple. They're just so cute! Well, maybe just to me, but WHATEVER. Laney x Tsengy FOREVAH 3! ~Rei_

_PS. I just found out contrary to what I have thought these many years, "eyeing" is actually spelled "eying." XD_


End file.
